Finding Out the Sex of Your Baby
Keeping your baby's sex a surprise vs. asking the ultrasound tech
Mar 11, 2007
Should pregnant women find out the sex of their babies during pregnancy? Thanks to routine fetal ultrasounds at around twenty weeks, expectant mothers and fathers often do not have to wait for childbirth to find out if it's a boy or a girl.
This is an amazing choice that parents didn't used to have, and finding out the sex of their baby early brings many people joy. On the other hand, many parents find themselves uncertain if they want to learn the sex of their baby or be surprised.
So, should you find out the sex of your baby ahead of time? Or should you wait until the doctor yells out, "It's a boy!" or 'It's a girl!"? Here are some reasons why parents might choose to find out, and why some parents choose to wait.
Why some parents want to know the sex of their baby
- They're just dying of curiosity! Why wait another twenty whole weeks when the ultrasound technician can take a little peek and end the suspense?
- They want to feel like the baby is more "real" early on. Many parents feel more connected to a baby that they can call "Madison" or "Matthew" than a baby whose sex is a mystery.
- They want to help ease older siblings into the idea of having a little sister or brother.
- Finding out the sex of the baby cuts the naming decision in half!
- They want to make "color" plans, as in what color to paint the nursery and what color baby clothes to purchase. Baby neutral colors like lime green and yellow are terribly dull.
- They want to make other sex-related plans. For example, if a Jewish family knows they are expecting a boy, they can make plans for a bris, or ritual circumcision.
- They're eager to share the joyful news with Grandma, Aunt Alice, coworkers, the lady at the post office, strangers on the street, and so forth. Some of these people (like Grandma) will be elated by the news, so why make them wait?
- It's still a surprise. Learning the surprise at twenty weeks doesn't make the news any less joyful.
Why some parents don't want to know the sex of their baby
- They want to look forward to the emotional childbirth ritual when labor finally end and the doctor or midwife announces the sex of the baby. People have been doing this for eons, and this tradition still feels special to many parents.
- To some parents, finding out the sex feels like peeking into the closet to see your birthday present before it's wrapped and handed to you. It ruins the surprise, and how many big surprises do we get in our lives?
- Some expectant mothers hope that the suspense will be an incentive to get through childbirth (although some find that once the labor pains begin, that's incentive enough!)
- Feminist parents might choose to go with the surprise to discourage the emphasis on gender. A lifetime of "pink versus blue" gender expectations awaits an unborn child. Why start with the gender expectations twenty weeks before birth?
- Parents don't always get a choice! Some stubborn little fetuses just won't open their legs, and the parents just have to wait. Also, ultrasound technicians occasionally are wrong, in which case the parents are in for quite a surprise indeed.
Whatever you choose, keep this in mind: you can't go wrong. You'll love that baby no matter what comes out, and no matter when you find out if it's a girl or a boy.
