Ten Ways to Get the Birth You Want
How to Talk to Healthcare Professionals During Pregnancy and BIrth
Jun 10, 2009
Pregnancy and childbirth can be bewildering. So how should you talk to midwives, registrars and consultants to make sure you get the birth you really want?
As a pregnant woman, you are likely to experience medical care more than at any other time in your life. These tips will help you to know what questions to ask, and how to make sense of the professionals' advice.
- Do Your Research Investigate the risks and benefits of different ways of giving birth. Visit your local maternity unit(s) and ask questions. What percentage of women have a straightforward labour and birth? What’s the policy on induction, episiotomy and caesarean sections? Being well informed enables you to assert yourself pleasantly and with confidence right from the start.
- Don’t Go it Alone If possible, ask someone to accompany you to all ante-natal check-ups and doctor’s appointments. They may well ask questions that you’ve not thought of. A second pair of ears is also invaluable in the (highly unlikely) event that there is some problem. If you do have to go alone, take a list of questions, and write down the answers rather than relying on your memory.
- Find a Midwife Midwives can be contacted directly either via your doctor’s surgery or by writing to the Head of Midwifery at your local hospital. One-to-one midwife care during birth is important, being likely to improve your experience and outcomes. If you want a guarantee that you will be attended at all times by a midwife who knows and understands you, it’s also worth investigating independent midwives. This can be expensive, but may increase the chances of getting the birth you want.
- Write a Birth Plan Your birth plan may be overtaken by events. However, women who feel that they are able to communicate their wishes throughout labour have a better birth experience - even if things don’t go as anticipated. Before writing your birth plan, consider the possible scenarios. You can’t know exactly how you’ll feel once you’re in labour, but asserting your wishes in advance provides a good starting point.
- Ask Questions If you don’t understand the professionals, ask them to explain themselves clearly and simply. What do the acronyms mean? What are the side effects of what they’re suggesting? What are the alternatives? Read any consent forms carefully and clarify anything you’re unsure about. If possible, ask questions when you’re fully dressed and face-to-face with the medics. This will automatically make you feel psychologically stronger and better able to assert yourself.
- Make Your Own Decisions If you’re unhappy with the information you are given, request a second opinion. You can make an appointment to see a consultant via your midwife or GP. If your midwife makes a suggestion, ask for private time to discuss it with your companion. That way you remain in control and don't feel forced into accepting a line of care that you hadn't originally wanted.
- Choose Your Birth Companion If you feel completely uninhibited with your partner or husband, then going through birth together may be a very special experience for you both. If, however, either of you feels anxious or uncomfortable, a close female friend, relative or birth doula can be a helpful labour companion. Whoever you choose, do make sure your companion is aware of your wishes as they may have to speak for you once you’re in established labour.
- Research Pain Relief Even if you want a drug-free labour, it’s still sensible to find out how some drugs like an epidural or pethidine can help labour in some instances. The same is true for those wishing to have an immediate epidural. The reality can be quite different: the anesthetist might be busy, or your labour might be not well enough established - or too far established. Understanding this will help you deal with the outcome.
- Be Professional and PoliteYou may encounter midwives and doctors with whom you disagree. While it may seem tempting to insist on your rights (and to quote all your research), resist the temptation: remain calm, firm and polite.
- The Birth Sometimes, no matter how well you’ve asserted your wishes, medical intervention may become necessary. If you can reach mutual agreement with the professionals, you will still feel as if you have been in control of the process, even if it doesn’t work out quite as you’d planned.
The copyright of the article Ten Ways to Get the Birth You Want in Pregnancy & Childbirth is owned by Rachel Ragg. Permission to republish Ten Ways to Get the Birth You Want in print or online must be granted by the author in writing.
