The Vital Role of Fathers
Part 1 - Creating Positive Connections with Your New Baby
Fathers are often left out of the equation in the new family. It is important for fathers to understand their unique role in the family and how to bond with their baby.
As parents plan for the arrival of the new baby, it is often difficult for the fathers to have much sense of involvement or even ownership of the baby as theirs. They do not experience the morning sickness or feel the baby kick. Contraction pain in labor is a foreign sensation. While they can provide empathy and encouragement, it is often hard for many fathers to completely relate or truly understand what the mother is experiencing.
Unfortunately, if fathers are not encouraged to become involved during pregnancy, it can often affect their level of involvement with their new baby. Developing their own bond and connection with their child is vital, not only for the growing baby, but for that new father. Let's take a look at some practical ways that new fathers can invest in the lives of the new arrival in the family:
Learning how to Comfort the Newborn
Fathers should take the time to get to know their little one in the earliest hours after birth. Cradling, soothing and talking to the baby are easy ways to begin the bonding process. Very often, fathers will learn to develop their own unique ways of soothing their baby. It can be very empowering to a new father to see that he also has the ability to comfort his new son or daughter in those early days and weeks after birth. This boosts his confidence and builds the connection he has with his baby. The key is that he does need to have the opportunity to do this without any interference from the mother.
For more information about soothing fussy babies, see the article on Parenting as well as the Happiest Baby on the Clock.
Participating in Care of Baby
Even routine things such as changing diapers, bathing and burping newborns are opportunities to build connections with the baby. . At first, fathers may balk at these seemingly mundane activities since they can be messy and the baby may fuss. Overtime, however, fathers will see that as the baby gets used to these routines, they are wonderful opportunities for interaction. Changing a diaper places the baby's face just below yours and is a perfect distance for vision and communication. Fathers who begin this early, will soon find that changing a diaper can lead easily to game-playing, laughing and positive interactions that can last until the child is potty-trained.
Participate in Feedings
If the mother is breastfeeding, fathers can participate by burping the baby. If the baby is about 3-4 weeks of age and breastfeeding is well-established and going very well, fathers can offer to give the mother a break from nursing by giving the baby a bottle of pumped breastmilk. This would likely be very appreciated during one of the nighttime feedings!
Not only does this provide fathers with an opportunity to give the mother a well-deserved break, but it can give the father a great sense of satisfaction to be participating in feeding his baby the most nutritious and healthy food available on the planet for babies!
See Part 2 of this series on the Fathers' Role.
If you are a new (or old) father, what are some practical things you did to get to know and interact with your baby? Share them with us.
