Pregnancy & Childbirth

» Marme - "sharing my story"

I am new to this web site. Perhaps I am not using the appropriate venue. I am responding to an article on long labor that included a link called "share your story."

Nine months and 28 years ago, I delivered a beautiful baby girl. This was the culmination of six days and nights of labor. During the final four days, I was unable to walk, eat, sleep or talk through the contractions. Sitting upright was the only possible position. Since my rear quickly became raw, I spent several days sitting upright in bed on a "donut" pillow. For five of those days I kept a log of the contractions, which were constant, yet irregular. I still have that log.

At the end of day four, contractions were mostly five minutes or less apart, so we went to the hospital. An exam was performed revealing I was only dilated to one. They said, "Too bad the mall is not open. You need to walk." They told me that this was "false labor", that these contractions would stop. The "real ones" would start up, they would be regular and I would certainly know the difference.

When I returned home I attempted to go up and down the stairs. The intensity of each contraction pinned me to the wall, rendering me imobile. I only made it down and up one time at which point I declared, "I don't care if this takes a week, I am not going up and down stairs." And back to my donut I returned.

At the end of day five, I became distraught, began to cry and apologize. "I really thought I would be better at this," I told my husband. I was 29 years old, had only gained 18 lbs and was in very good shape. I had always exercised. In fact, I played softball and raquetball throughout the pregnancy and had worked on my feet in a restaurant until past my due date. I really thought I would be better at it.

My husband called the doctor to let him know I was crumbling. He instructed us to go to the hospital. He said he would give me something to allow me to sleep and maybe when I awoke, the "real labor" would begin. When we arrived at the hospital on night five, I was dilated to three centimeters and they allowed me to stay. I was settled in a labor room and hooked to a machine to monitor the contractions. There was no mention of giving me something to rest. I continued through the night with the same irregular, but intense contractions. At some point before noon on day six, one doctor was leaving his shift and conferencing with the arriving doctor. They spoke in the hall and they seemed to have differing opinions. When they came into my room, I asked why they were not giving me pitocin. One replied, "All pitocin does is make your contractions harder. Look at the monitor. Your contractions are off the graph."

It was such a tremendous relief to be told that yes, this was in fact true labor. For I had no idea how I would survive "real labor" if this was false. Contrary to all they had said, contractions never did stop. Contractions never became regular. When I had dilated to six, I began to have the urge to push. In our birthing classes, we had been told that the urge to push comes between 9 and 10 centimeters of dilation. The urge to push is the most unbelievable overpowering sensation on earth. Every molecule in the universe is screaming, "PUSH. PUSH". Yet at six cm, it is not allowed. I did the practiced pant blow breathing to keep from pushing for an hour and a half. At one point, when I had lost all focus, my husband took my face in his hands, put his face within inches of mine and did the blowing I was to do. I went on autopilot and just did what he did. The next exam revealed I was still at six cm! The doctor ordered an epidural, saying I would never make it.

The epidural was admitted and I thought I had died and gone to heaven. The anesthesiologist is to this day, a god, in my mind. I was told it would slow my labor... but really, how much slower could it get? Many more hours went by. When I finally got to 9 cm, I was allowed to let the epidural wear off and push in accordance with the urge. That is the most magnificent feeling I've ever had. Although after an hour, an exam revealed that nine had refused to advance to ten and I was again loaded with epidural and asked to wait. I never did dilate to ten. But at some spot between the two, I was again allowed to push and with the help of forceps my ordeal bore a 7lb 2oz bald, blue-eyed beauty and all was right with the world.

I had not eaten or slept in days. They took the baby out of my arms as I threatened to pass out and the pain killer I was given for post labor contractions did send me to unconsciousness. But I had done it.... only me. I had accomplished the greatest feat of my life. I had performed far past all limits I ever imagined or hoped. And the rewards were indescribable.

So why share this story so many years later? Because as I type, that beautiful blue-eyed girl is in labor herself. She became pregnant with a girl in the same month I had become pregnant with her. She is due to deliver during the week of her own birthday. She looks wonderful, has felt wonderful and has not gained much weight. Her cravings were the same as mine had been... all fruit, all day. The parallels have been heartwarming. Except..... she is in day four of constant, irregular contractions. Only a few a day have been intense enough to take her breath and stop her in her tracks and she is being a good sport. Today, as her left hand rubbed the sweet round tightness of her abdomen, the right hand wrote down the times and duration. This page of times could have been torn from my own log of 28 years ago. And I wonder... what has changed? Do they still say contractions of "real labor" are regular? Do they say the urge to push will come between nine and ten centimeters of dilation? Do they say birth happens at 10cm? In the next few days, if the intensity lands her in the upright position in bed on a "donut", will she be told to walk the mall? Do they still have monitors to which she can be connected to see just where on the graph her pains fall? She took birthing classes. They don't teach breathing techniques anymore. What will she do to get through it? How can I be of the most help?

So to pass the time, I have been researching "long labor" on the internet. I found this sight. I found the invitation to share my story. I hope I will find answers to make my wish for her come true: to not walk in my footsteps on this. My wish is that I am wrong that the pattern is repeating itself. My wish is that those of you out there reading my story will share if nothing else, your wishes for her to have an easy and quick delivery.

Thank you,
Grandma in Waiting

-- posted by Marme